An Telephone Encounter with a Buay Smart Act Smart Mum

Sometime last week, in a moment of "kei kiang mentality", I went to register myself with a few tutoring websites. In short, I went to "sell koh yoh" about myself on the net lah. Today, I received a call from an agent who saw my profile on 1 of these websites, to ask if I'm interested in tutoring a P5 girl, living in East Coast, EMS. But there's 1 condition lor. The girl's mum want to interview me on he phone lah. So I got the number and called lor. Wah piang eh! I've never seen (ok, technically is "heard" lah) a mum so "act smart" & kiasu wan lor. Here a transcript of our conversation.

Mrs X: "Have you taught P5 before?"

I: "Yes I have. I taught P5 for 1 year."

Mrs X: " Was it last year?"

I: "No, I didn't teach P5 last year?"

Mrs X: "Haaah??? Then are you familiar with the new science syllabus?"

(Tamade! Just because I didn't teach P5 last year, doesn't make me a less competent teacher, ok! For your info, I was in the science committee in all my teaching years, and I set numerous P5 science exam papers, and marked hundreds of PSLE science scripts. If that don't make me competent, what will? But I can't tell her all these, can I?)

I: "Yes, I am familiar but the new syllabus will only affect the P3s & 4s. The P5s are still using the old syllabus."

Mrs X: "Noooo.....The current P5 is using the new syllabus already. I've been tutoring my girl since she was in P4 last year, I'm very familiar with the school syllabus. Now they lump the topics together. Now you can't even get the assessment books for the old syllabus."

(Wah piang eh! I'm correct lah! I'm in the science comm, I attended meetings on implementation of the new science syllabus. I'm still teaching my P5 China kid science. You can't bluff me on these things wan lah. As for the assessment books, P5 still can get lah. As for the P3/4, the only time there were no assessment books was during the period of Jan - Mar when the publishers couldn't edit and publish the new syllabus kind on time. Now there are already some available liao. )

I: "Mrs X, I'm very sure about the implementation of the Science syllabus. The only syllabus that will affect your child is the maths syllabus."

Mrs X: "We'll see about that. By the way, what are you strong in? Which subject?"

I: "My strength are in maths and science." (Of course lah! I'm not "Master" like some people leh.)

Mrs X: "I see. To be frank with you, I'm more concerned about my daughter's english. She getting very low A-. Her maths and science are still quite good, A+. I'm looking for a tutor to push her english to A+, do you think you are able to do so?"

(KNN! Now she is hinting my "ang moh" not "powderful" enough. From A- to A+, how many tutors can do that? English leh! You think what? Eat-fish ah? Normally compo is the deciding factor for those extra points and compo writing skill is a damn difficult skill to teach wan lor. You so "li hai", you go teach lor.)

I: "I see. If that's the case, then it's alright, I won't take up your assignment."

Faint ah! Talk to that mum! Act smart never mind, still want people to push EMS from A to super A! You'll need Tom Cruise to do that lor. Mission Impossible!